Out of Context, but Always in Season

Whilst walking out of a building, two gentlemen talking to each other about a previous class.

"So, like, I was in the room, and then this bird flew in from the window. Like, literally, there was a bird. It was like flying around. Like, literally, a bird!"

(As opposed to figuratively being a bird.)

Around the MLB Playoffs, A guy and a girl conversing outside near a bench.

Girl - "How many games are left?"
Boy - "Well, they've won two, it's best of five, so they only need one more."
Girl - "Oh, and then it's the next series?"
Boy - "Yeah, and that they need four."
Girl - "Right, so it's best of six."

(Kind of surprising he didn't get down on one knee and propose right there and then.)

While waiting for a subway train, a man approached me with this intriguing proposition after asking for the time. The proposition, which I, unfortunately declined went as follows:

"It's only 11:30?! Thank God! I like you. Would you like some drink? Maybe some chicken, it's Chinese. I like you, would you like to invest in houses. I foreclose on houses all the time. I just got out of 'county' and I'm going to get a lady. (Showing wallet pictures.) This is my girl, this is my baby, this is my baby's momma. But that ain't who I'm going to see tonight, you know what I mean? This is my social security card, this is my driver's license. I make 50,000 dollars a week. Cause I foreclose on houses. This house right behind mine, it's worth a lot, you can foreclose with me! I make like 50- wait, 500! Like 500,000 dollars a month. And you can have that. Have some drink! Wait. You like Chinese food? Cause I foreclose houses everywhere. I foreclose houses in China. I make like 50 million dollars a year. So, can I count you in for a couple yucks right now?"

(It was really hard to say no, and the drink he offered was a "Big Gulp" full of something. Also, his name was Lance Eugene. I have not been able to find him since the incident.)

A general argument gone wrong. For those who know him, know there is more where this came from:

"Alright, touché."
"Yeah, well, touché to yourself!"

(Spoken like a true imbecile.)

While waiting for a train, a friend observing others turned to me and offered this piece:

"Did you see the girls? The one looked kind of cute, then I saw she only had one arm."

(Slightly offensive, but not a false statement.)

And lastly for now, upon entering a restroom and stepping up to a urinal, a man approached, made eye contact while I was in use of the urinal, and proceeded to declare:

"Ah, this is where the champions meet."

(A bit awkward, but well-stated.)